7.17.2009
Open Letter.
Remember the time I told you that it's going to be okay and that everything will turn out fine?

Well, I was lying.

Forgive me for, maybe, giving you false hints, but that was all I could do. I had to lie, if it meant comforting you and making you feel better. I've been where you are, and God, I know how painful it exactly felt. I know sweet words aren't really enough to at least ease the pain, but it really does help. A bit, though.

You asked me if you had a choice. I told you to either cling to that damn hope of you two getting back together, or just move on with your life and deal with the fact that it's just up to there. You smiled and it was obvious that you opted the first one I suggested. But honestly, you really don't have a choice but to let go. It's bleak, I know, but I guess you just have to deal with reality.

It's really foolish to keep hoping that there's another chance, cause we all know how clear it is that this is really where it's at. I know you are much more willing to take the risk and even if you'd have to take all the shots, I know you'd take them wholeheartedly. Because above all your shortcomings and all else, you want her back. Period.

But she wants time and space for herself. And you can't force that.

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7.02.2009
Because You Are.
Why’d he have to be so unbreakable?

Sometimes you think he’s slowly letting you in on his life, his secrets, his thoughts, and even the seemingly most "senseless" things he has to say. But predictable he is, he’ll shut you off. Not the tackless, rude, sudden "let’s-not-talk-about-it-anymore type of ‘brush off’" but the polite, almost subtle, and humorous kind which makes it hard for you to be outraged and frustrated.

There is such a thing as personal space anyway. I dare not probe and poke and prod or whatever. So I respect people’s privacy. BUT arrrgghhhh… why can’t I just probe and poke and prod or whatever?

He’s like a rock.

A ROCK.

They’re common but innately unique. They’re solid but you know at one point, they’ll break into pieces. They’re so there, so magnificent, so visible but sometimes unreachable.

A PARADOX. Unfathomable.

He’s unbreakable.

And I’m just standing here. Wishing I were unbreakable too. Wishing most selfishly he’ll break down in the most human, most real, most unarming way possible. He’s human.

But perhaps, I’m not the one to make him realize that he can’t live like the world’s going to hurt him or break him into pieces. That’s his own lesson to learn. Where has he been anyway? The world’s out to get everyone. I want to be the one who’ll make him realize that yes, it’s a big bad world, but trying not to be a part of it isn’t helping. And maybe if he bled a little he’d realize that hurt and pain is part of who are, like the blood that runs through our veins. Goodness! Not making any sense am I?

But there. Mr. Unbreakable, I’m hoping that maybe someday if I’m not too tired of waiting, you’ll get back to me sans those walls of yours.

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2.05.2009
Balentyms.
valentines_day_Did anyone say "Valentine's Day"? Oh shyeah, I guess I heard it right.

I was chatting with Liza a while ago and she asked me, "Kams, mag-unsa ka karong 14? Naa na ka date?" [Kams, what are you doing on the 14th? Do you already have a date?]. I was like WTF?! What's with the 14th pala? And then it hit me. Haha:-D Can you imagine that I honestly forgot that Heart's Day is already around the corner. What the h*ll.

So anyway, few weeks ago, my friends and I planned to go on a group date on the 14th. Dine out then, as usual, drown ourselves with alc*hol. My V-Day is usually like that. Go drunken-crazeh-babeh. The only difference every year is the people I'm with. And this time, I plan to spend that very special day with my very special friends. My Alpha Delta Kappa friends are planning to "celebrate" on the eve, February 13, and we'll welcome the V-Day with a big bang bonggang bonggang bongbong. Lol.

But if, just if, worse comes to worst and I end up being alone on the 13th and 14th, I already have "back-up" plans.

♥ SKIP THE V-DAY. Sleep on the 13th and wake up on the 15th.


♥  JUSTICE FOR THE LOVELESS! Go and rally outside the usual restaurants where couples would have their oh-so-sweet candlelit dinner to celebrate the V-Day.


♥  FIND A DATE. Go to Mount Ararat and maybe, just maybe, find the ultimate Valentino there.Who knows, right?



Ok, that's pathetic, I know. Hahaha. But hey, those suggestions would probably work. Don't you think? So to those who are alone and do not know what to do on that day, just pick your choice among the three of my "back-up" plans. Ok? Go.

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1.13.2009
McDo Commercial.
I bet you guys saw this commercial already. This has been the talk-of-the-town and the talk-of-the-blogosphere as well. This McDo ad brought me back a lot of memories when I was younger. Nostalgic, grabe. Hmmmm. It's not just about the video, but the soundtrack as well. I've always been a fan of EHeads and using "Ang Huling El Bimbo" for this ad is really a perfect choice. The whole concept is really rocking, you know. :-P







At kahit hindi rin naging kami sa huli, siya pa rin ang first love ko.
Awww! That is so sweet! First love will always be the first love.
Everyone can relate to this, right?

McDo commercials are the bombs! This one, particularly, made me kilig.


And oh, who could ever forget Lolo, Karen, and Gina [whoever she is]? :-D

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1.02.2009
TYs.

Mommy. Lolo Dad. Lols. Manong Popoy. Kyle. Ate Kim. Tita Yeen. Uncle Vinnie. Lolo Uncle. Auntie Weena. Auntie Mila. Lola-Lola. Tita O. Nikka. Papa.


Tita Wing. Piwiw. Timon. Choi. Mar. Pusoy. Bison. Bobbyrich. Marky.


Rizza Mae. Manil. Jhoey. Mak. Jude. Koya. Porpor. Doms. Vince. Manang. Piggy Bank. Smith.


Yana. En. Gail. Bam. Drei. Chino. Jupo. RJ. Chedette. Lher. Derick.


Sir Arpee. Yuimien. Beneno. Goma. gelloXP.


Lloyd. Allen. Jude. Wing. Ate Liza. Ate Beauty. David. Panda. Wynne. Chres. Daryl. Meliza. Desiree. Hanzel. Nixx. Ricky. Elaine. Jerome. Genesis. Dee-Jay. Rose. Sinclaire. Louie.


Jai. Giowoah. Mrs. Limjoco. Jake. Mara. Klara. JM. Winsse. Isabella. Erika.




Thank you for making my birthday extra special!


...and this will be updated...

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Survivor.
Looking back on my 2008, I couldn't help but give myself a tap. I couldn't imagine anymore how I survived the 365 days of 2008. I had my ups and downs, and it was super chaotic, sure thing. But here I am, still whole, alive, and kicking.

I couldn't point out anymore the important things that happened last year, but I can surely point out the things that made me happy - the times when I felt that I was in the highest point of my life. I could clearly remember that those were the months of the last quarter of the year, and honestly, I still haven't gotten over with those things. I don't know if this is good or bad, but there are a lot of feelings and actions that I brought to 2009 which, I know, should be left behind.

But yeah, here I am now, as I said, whole, alive, and kicking.

Generally, 2008 was a great year for me.

I just don't know what to expect this 2009, because I am very much aware that I didn't start my year right. Thankstoyou.

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12.08.2008
Another Open Letter.
Dear ****,

Hi. Hello. I know you're not expecting this. I chose this most difficult and hi-tech medium in writing this open letter just because I know you'll never get to read this. Never.

There are a lot of things I want to let you know, really. But something deep inside me is telling me that I shouldn't take the risk of speaking out for myself because things will only get worse. I've seen scenes just like this, and I tell you, it didn't do any good. I could honestly say that I've learned from my experiences already and it just sucks knowing that here I am again, back to the starting line, and wishing I could just make a short cut to the finish line. But sometimes, I just think I'm running on an infinite open track. It has always been like this. Always.

It isn't at all time that I will be tolerating this and just let each day pass without you realizing that I could get tired with this and that it is now your turn to move and do the impossible - to, at least, make an effort. We know I already took my chances, and now, it's your time to show me what you got. It's going to be now or never, you know.

When I get to read this again one day, I wish I could just extend a smile on my face and hopefully remember this moment. A moment where I could tell myself that at least, I tried. And on that day, I'd never wonder what this whole thing could have been, because I could swear that I made my fair share to keep the bond. I fought  for this.

If maybe, just maybe, you'll stumble upon this letter one day, all I could wish for is that you would tell yourself that you were such an idiot for taking things for granted, and that you lost without even fighting for it.

We'll talk soon, okay? :-(

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12.02.2008
You're It.
I was asked, "What childhood game you like the most?".

When I was a kid, I remember my Mom would often tell me that running, biking outside the house, playing with soil, and things alike, are NO-NOs. I just felt so deprived, while every child in the neighborhood is having the time of his/her life dancing under the rain. I sure had a bike, like every kid had, but I felt so pathetic because I'm not allowed to go biking outside the house. My only track and field was our sala.

The time I started playing lupa-langit and tayokok was when I started my elementary. But later, I just gave up on those games because I wasn't so good at it. It came to a point that I just realized that maybe it wasn't really my thing. And besides, I wasn't able to practice when I was younger. I had no experience in playing those kind of games. Let's put it this way, my classmates were already "professionals" while I was still a "beginner".

But there's this game that's really close to my heart. God, I couldn't remember the last time I played hide and seek or tagu-an anymore. I know I'm too old for that game, but if I were given a chance, I'd give up anything just to hear someone say to me, "Hey, I found you", again. :-(

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12.01.2008
To Wait Is A Virtue.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of us spend all our lives waiting, right? Waiting for the right moment to express our feelings. Waiting for the perfect time to confront. Waiting for signs. Waiting for someone to come. Waiting to be asked. Waiting for the right moment to break a news to someone. Waiting for something. And sometimes, we even wait for just nothing.

No matter how hard we try, more often than not, the only option we've got is just to wait. But that's how life gets exciting. We wait, not knowing what the whole thing would take, not knowing for how long, and not knowing whether the backwash would be inclinely favored to us. We just wait, because we let fate surprise us. But come to think of it, it's really stupid to wait for something, and you know in the first place that it will never come, right? :-(

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